At 21 years old, Lindsay Valentine was told that his father had pancreatic cancer. Towards the end of his father’s fight with his cancer, his mother was shockingly also diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Within 6 months of one another, Lindsay lost both of his parents to this heartbreaking disease.
Lindsay joins us on the Cracking Open podcast this week to honor his parents’ memory and share his journey with this traumatic life experience and what it taught him.
It is an unimaginable story for any family, let alone a family of four boys aged 18, 20, 22, and 24. At their young age, they should have been thinking about high school prom, college football games, going to parties, and creating resumes for their first jobs. Instead, these four young men became caretakers for their dying parents and one another.
As the oldest brother, Lindsay quickly stepped in as the protector, helper, and savior. Not only did he do this out of deep love for his family, but in retrospect he recognized that taking on this role also distracted him from dealing directly with his own immense grief, sadness, pain, and vulnerability. But that shield only delayed the reckoning of his grief and he has since acknowledged that real healing occurs when we allow space for our grief, pain, and fears.
He now knows that sharing his feelings with his loved ones brings them closer together, versus the dysfunction and separation that occurred when he worked hard to keep his feelings at bay.
In this episode, Lindsay leans into his vulnerability and commitment to connection by sharing that he is still not okay more than a year after losing his parents and that THAT is okay. He remains in a constant battle with his grief but knows that these losses have taught him to be more vulnerable, to ask for help, and most importantly – to love.
Experiencing the death of his mom and dad has reminded him that we only have this one life and it can drastically change in the blink of an eye – so call that friend or family member, follow your joy in everything that you do, and don’t be afraid to have the tough conversations with the people you love most. Overall, Lindsay’s message is that there is always hope to be found, even in the darkest of times.
Bill Valentine, Lindsay’s father, passed away on October 21, 2022.
Jessica Valentine, Lindsay’s mother, passed away on March 17, 2023.
Lindsay’s parents were two of the most loving, selfless, heart-centered, passion-filled humans I’ve ever known, and both were dear personal friends of mine. This episode is dedicated to their memory and to the burgeoning lives of their four beautiful sons.
Listen to Bill Valentine’s podcast interview with Molly as he discusses what having terminal cancer has taught him about the true meaning of life. Originally aired on February 17, 2022, it remains our most downloaded podcast episode.
Love,
Molly
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