I will never forget the day I was in my therapist’s office sharing about how my anxiety was through the roof. I was grieving the death of my father, saddened by my mother’s cancer diagnosis, and fearful that my husband’s business would have to close its doors. I was the epitome of “down and out” in my life and marriage.
My therapist had the ability to show deep compassion but also called me out on my denial when necessary. She said, “Molly, you need help and I think you should begin with the book Fierce Intimacy by Terry Real.”
Terry’s “say it like it is” attitude, transparency around his own marriage, and tips and tools, have literally saved my marriage and my soul. After listening to today’s episode I believe your relationships will also benefit from his ability to teach about communicating, not from the adaptive child but the wise adult.
I’m so grateful that Terry not only said yes to being a guest on the podcast but said yes during a very busy time in his life with his new book, US: Getting Past You & Me to Build a More Loving Relationship, releasing on June 7th.
It was this “yes” that brought forth an interview where we talked about how to be a present life partner and a loving parent. He opened up about how his abusive childhood could turn into anger and grandiosity, but with deep internal work, it is now intense love and compassion for himself and others. And that he wrote his latest book to help us all remember how we can transform when there is unity and connection in relationships versus separation and disconnection.
Terry is an internationally recognized Family Therapist, Speaker, and Author. Terry founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents with a professional training program for clinicians wanting to learn his RLT (Relational Life Therapy).
Terry is the best-selling author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work, Fierce Intimacy: Standing Up to One Another with Love, and his latest book US: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship.
His ideas on men’s issues and couple’s therapy have been celebrated in venues that include Good Morning America, The Today Show, 20/20, Oprah, and The New York Times.
When I look back 10 years ago, sitting in my therapist’s office really struggling in my life, I know for sure that today I am a better wife, a less anxious human, and a more compassionate mom thanks to Terry Real.
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Thank you for this interview. Succinct and informative. Several important quotes “Family pathology rolls generation to gen…” and “Theirs no redeeming value in harshness… “ among others give me the sense of what relational therapy is trying to bring into the world. Very helpful